


Color of Life

by SupernaturalHearts



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Additional cast appearances eventually, Alternate Universe - College/University, Art student Levi, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, M/M, Musical Eren, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Probably very cliche
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-04-19 02:38:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4729595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalHearts/pseuds/SupernaturalHearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi's a sophomore at Kent State University working towards his art degree but has not idea what he wants to do with his life.<br/>Eren is a freshman musical prodigy with an unusual medical condition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mauve-Humble

**Author's Note:**

  * For [W84U](https://archiveofourown.org/users/W84U/gifts).



> I am actually making this a gift for W84U because if it weren't for one of their fics and a conversation, this fic probably would have never been written.

**Mauve-Humble**

**Chromesthesia** or sound-to-color synesthesia is a type of synesthesia in which heard sounds automatically and involuntarily evoke an experience of color.

…

**Levi**

I don’t know when I started thinking that my life was repetitive, boring. What the hell was I doing? Going to college, and for what? To get a job? Then what? Buy a house, get a wife, have kids.

Well the job thing is up in the air right now, I’m an art major for fucks sake and I have no idea what to do or what I want to do with my degree when I get it. I love doing what I do I just have no clue what I want from life. I will never have a wife, I don’t even like women. Never been around kids so I have no idea if I even want any but considering what I’ve heard about them, they’re messy little brats so I may never have kids and the house; If I ever end up with a job that pays enough, sure I’ll get a house.

Today’s the first day of my sophomore year at Kent State University and I had to wake up in one of those moods. The ‘why the fuck did I even bother to wake up’ moods. I knew if I didn’t get my ass going though Hanji would show up and drag me out, not only that but I had to be at Student Center with everyone else for orientation. Thank fuck I’m not a freshman so I only have to be there for an hour. Half an hour after I force myself out of bed I’m showered, clothed and out the door to meet everyone.

…

Out front of the Student Center are Erwin and Hanji with Armin and Mikasa. I’ve known Erwin and Hanji pretty much all my life. Hanji met Armin through the Clinical Psychology courses they’re both in, last year and since then they’ve been almost inseparable and Armin brought along Mikasa who just quietly fit herself right in.

I didn’t mind them joining in our little group. Armin was usually pretty quiet and Mikasa had a resting bitch face almost as good as mine. Something was a bit off today when I approached them. Mikasa was smiling, Armin was vibrating with excitement and Haji was louder than usual and “Damnit Four Eyes will you shut the fuck up. What is up your ass today?” I had to pinch the bridge of my nose. I could feel the headache already if this was how the rest of the day was going to go.

“Eren's here.” Armin blurted out excitedly. Erwin just smiled in light of their excitement. Not much ruffled him. 

“As soon as we get done here, we’re gonna meet him in the Performing Arts Center.” Mikasa informed us gesturing to herself and Armin.

“Can we come too Mikasa. Pleeeaaaase?” Hanji begged, hands clasped in front of her chest and puppy dog eyes.

I watched Mikasa and Armin exchange a look before he nodded at her and she shrugged. “I guess. I’m sure he'd like to meet you guys.”

Hanji started squealing and I had cut that shit off before she did any damage to my ears. “Well let’s get this shit over with.” I led the way into the building with the four of them following behind. Maybe today wasn't going to be as dull as I thought it might be. I just hoped the kid wasn’t a brat.

…

One boring ass hour later and we were free. Since it was such a nice day we all decide to walk to the PAC and it would only take about 10 minutes anyway. Mikasa and Armin were leading the way this time, both of them talking in whispers while the rest of us watched curiously.

They finally stopped and turned toward us when we reached the doors to the PAC. “Whatever you do don’t say anything you don’t mean when you meet Eren, if you offend him in any way I will kill you and be quiet in here. Not one word until we say so. Got it?” Mikasa said mostly looking at Hanji for that last part.

They entered the building and we followed behind them. This was the quietest I’ve ever heard Hanji and Armin. I wanted to thank the kid already. Eren must have told one of them where he was going to be because we went right to one of the practice rooms. Mikasa paused again to turn and eye us before opening the door silently.

…

The voice that emerged from the open door...There are no words to describe it. Beautiful, Unbelievable, Refined, Unreal, Perfect. None of the words I could think of would fit right. Hanji gasped softly and Mikasa turned sharply and glared at her. Hanji covered her mouth with her hands and we followed Armin and Mikasa into the room.

Eren was sitting at a baby grand piano. It was facing the door so we could see him but since his eyes were closed he couldn’t see us. He was cute from what I could tell with his eyes closed and him sitting. Messy dark brown hair framed a thin narrow face. I wonder what color his eyes are or how tall he is.

I put it out of my mind in favor of listening to him sing as he played.

_All the promises I’ve made just to let you down._

_You believed in me but I’m broken._

Jesus the kid could emote. I wanted to cry just listening to the pain in his voice.

_I have nothing left._

_And all I feel is this cruel wanting._

_We’ve been falling for all this time._

_And now I’m lost in paradise._

_As much as I like the past not to exist._

_It still does._

_And as much as I’d like to feel like I belong here._

_I’m just as scared as you._

Mikasa stop him before he could sing the next line of lyrics. I’m kind of glad she did. As much as I wanted to hear him sing more, I knew what the next line was and the way he sung ‘I have nothing left’ made me want to either cry or hug the kid and I don’t do hugs so that should say a whole hell of a lot.

She went behind him and hugged him around the shoulders. I could hear her murmur his name when she buried her face in his neck. He stopped playing but didn’t open his eyes just leaned his head against hers and grinned. “Mikasa. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry idiot, just stop unless you want a lecture like the last one.” She said and smirked when his eyes snapped open and he looked up at her in absolute horror. I wondered what she could have said to put that kind of look on his face. I was glad though, he finally opened his eyes. From the angle I was at and the direction he was looking it seemed like he had green eyes but I couldn’t be too sure.

He stood when Armin walked over to him. He stood from the bench and smiled as he hugged Armin. I knew years ago when Armin’s grandfather passed away, Eren and Mikasa’s parents took custody of him until he graduated and they knew each other long before that so they were as close as brothers.

Examining him closely I could easily see he was attractive. He was tall, maybe five inches taller than me. Slim with a swimmers build, I could see the tone of his muscle through the snug fit of his blue long sleeve tee shirt. Not a girlish figure but more curves than the average male. His faded jeans fit him very well and hugged his hips and displayed a very nice ass. Over all he made a very nice picture to look at.

They hugged for a few minutes and Eren close his eyes again when Armin started murmuring in his ear. Whatever was said made Eren laugh and they broke apart. “Oh, Eren these are three of our friends. We’ve told you a little about them.” Armin told Eren finally.

I know I probably looked like an idiot for the first time in my life. I almost raised my hand to make sure my mouth hadn’t fallen open or some stupid shit like that. I just couldn’t believe how wrong I was about his eyes. One eye was a tropical ocean of blue and green. The other was a sunset gold. I have never met anyone with eyes of either color, and all I could think was ‘is everything about this kid beautiful?’ I take back what I thought before. He wasn’t merely nice too look at or even just attractive. He was fucking gorgeous.  

…

“That’s Erwin,” Armin said pointing to him, Erwin smiled and nodded in greeting. “Hanji,” She still had her hands covering her mouth, she squealed quietly behind her hands and Eren snickered. “That’s Levi. Don’t let his face fool you he’s a lot like Mikasa in that sense.” I just scowled at Armin for that comment. He held his hands up in surrender. “I just mean that you’re not as mean as most people assume because of your expression.”

Maybe not but no one, not even my friends needed to know that.

When Hanji kept bouncing in place and making noise behind her hands, Eren looked at her curiously. “Is something wrong?” She shook her head excitedly and Eren looked at his sister. Mikasa’s eyes widened comically. She waved a hand dismissively, “You can speak now.”

“Mikasa! You told them they couldn’t speak?”

“Yeah. I know how hard it is for you with extra noise and trust me you don’t want to try playing or singing when Hanji is talking.”

He shrugged and conceded looking back at the three of us. Probably the worst thing he could have done. Hanji dropped her hands and proceeded to talk in that unmerciful high pitched voice she gets when she’s over excited. “Oh my god you are so cute and your eyes are so pretty, are they real? You play and sing beautifully.” I watched him wince through her whole speech when Mikasa hissed at her.

“Hanji. Calm down. Talk, don’t screech.”

“Sorry Eren.” He sighed in relief and smiled at her.

“Yes my eyes are real and thank you.” He answered her questions as he walked around the piano. “It’s nice to finally meet you guys. Armin and Mikasa have told me a lot about you guys. I’m guessing from Hanji’s reaction to my eyes that neither of my siblings has told you guys much about me.” He looked over his shoulder at Mikasa and Armin.

“Basics.” Mikasa answered the unasked question and smiled.

“I could have fun with this then.” He stated with a breathy laugh.

I figured I might as well speak up this time and besides my curiosity was getting the better of me. “What could be fun?” I don’t know what I said but his head whipped around fast enough I thought he might have given himself whiplash. His eyes were wide and his mouth was parted in surprise.

He walked over to me and stood right in front of me. He bent down slightly to look me in the eye. “Could you repeat that please Levi?”

I think I could have listened to him say my name over and over for the rest of my life and I lost my voice for a moment. “What could be fun Brat?”

He paid no attention to the nickname or rude tone of my voice just smiled. It was unlike any of the others he’d shown in the short time I’d seen him. This one was serene and I think I’d do anything he wanted just to see that smile again.

“You’re an Art Major right?”

“Yeah and?”

“Do you sing at all?”  

“No. Why?”

“You have nearly perfect control of your voice. I bet if you sang it would sound beautiful.”

I don’t know why he would think I could sing. “I do have perfect control.”

“No you don’t, trust me. Just in that sentence I can see a little anger, some disbelief and curiosity. Hanji is easily excitable, curious and a genuine person. What you see is what you get from her. Erwin would have to say something for me to get a read on him.” Eren said and turned to our blonde friend.

“How do you know all that?” He said finally.

“Hmmm. I’m not gonna tell yet. But you are smart, dependable and fiercely loyal to those you care about.” While the three of us were staring at him in astonishment, Mikasa and Armin were standing behind him laughing.

Hanji’s eyes widened and she sucked in a sharp breath. Erwin and I looked at her when she spoke. The excitement on her face didn’t match the tone of her voice this time. “You said you can see what we are feeling when we speak?” He nodded at her question.

“That makes so much sense now. What type?” Hanji asked.

“Ha you two owe me five bucks. I told you Hanji would figure it out.” Armin shouted out addressing both his adopted siblings.

 “Chromesthesia.” Eren answered ignoring his brother.

“Holy shit that’s awesome and rare. I’ve never met anyone with any type of Synesthesia. I have so many questions for you.” She said excitably.

“I’ll tell you whatever you want as long as you don’t talk like that when I’m around.” He promised her as he winced again.

“Okay, someone want to let me and Erwin in on the secret?” I said. Now I was a little irritated. Hanji is the one who finally spoke.

“Uh the easiest way to explain it is, Eren sees sounds as colors.” She turned back to Eren. “I’ve read about it and I know everyone is a little different so can I ask how it works for you?”

“Sure but can we get out of here. I’m starving and I don’t know about you guys but I’m getting tired of standing.” 

“There’s a cafe not too far from here and it should be fairly quiet at this time of day. Will that be okay?” Hanji asked Eren. Hanji had her moments where she could be serious and quiet but those times were few and far between. I think this is the longest she’s gone without squealing, screeching or yelling about one thing or another and for that alone I think I loved this kid.

“I can deal with the noise but I’d rather not deal with the eye strain. Too much sound means I see way too many colors and it can get distracting at times.”

I just couldn’t stop the snort of laughter and I really should have when Eren turned to me raising an eyebrow in question. “I was right all along. Four eyes is a distraction and an eyesore.”

Eren flinched and shook his head. “What did I say?” I was curious at what I said that made him react that way. I was not expecting him to place a warm hand on my shoulder or for him to lean in close to me. His cheek brushed lightly against mine and wow his skin was soft as hell and holy shit did he smell good. I know I have a thing for cleaning but he smelled like clean sun dried linen. His warm breath flowed over the shell of my ear and my whole body stiffened to prevent a shudder from working its way down my spine.

“I’ll admit you were telling the truth about Hanji being a distraction but you don’t really think she’s an eyesore do you.” And it wasn’t a question only confidant truth in his whispered voice. “Lies are such an ugly color. Please don’t lie around me Levi.” Holy fuck I didn’t know my name could sound so good and now my thoughts were becoming repetitive and annoying. I know my eyes had gone wide and my mouth had dropped open and all I could do was nod at him when he pulled away to look at me. Fuck my life. The fucking kid was beautiful and dangerous. Not in the physical sense, though that’s entirely possible too, but dangerous for the image I had kept up my whole life.

Hanji cackling and Erwin’s laughing broke our awkward silent staring contest. We turned to them at the same time. “Whatever it was you said to him keep it up. For as long as we’ve known Levi neither of us has seen him so taken aback.”  Erwin said after he had gotten done laughing.

“So Eren what did you say to my little friend?” Eren shook his head at her. “You’ll have to ask him if you want to know.”

“Fuck off the both of you. Let’s just go before I…” _. Beat your asses._ Was what I was going to say. God damn it all to fucking hell! I let the sentence trail off because I knew I was about to say something not true, I wouldn’t kill them or even seriously injure them, but right then I really wanted to beat their asses. I saw the beginning of a flinch from Eren and growled a curse under my breath. I pointed a finger at the boy, “You are a fucking brat.” All he did was laugh because that was an honest truth and he knew it.

I walked away from them. Hanji and Erwin scrambled to keep up with me and the other three followed behind at a more sedate pace. It was like being a magnate. Attract and repel. Eren was that for me. I want to be closer to him. He was warm, beautiful and inviting. But at the same time I wanted to get far away. I knew nothing about him but I wanted to know everything. I had a feeling he knew more about me in just the 20 minutes we had known each other, than anyone else including my parents, knew and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.


	2. Sky Blue-Selfless Love, Fidelity

**Sky Blue-Selfless Love, Fidelity**

**Eren**

I really wasn’t paying attention when everyone came into the practice room. I should have but I tend to loose myself in my music. I lost myself in the pure clean tones of the music and my own voice. Both blending together to paint a picture of vivid colors behind my eyelids.

Every note from the piano bends with every note from my voice and it’s not a very pretty picture. Beautiful bright colors are produced from the clear ringing notes of the piano; Dark ugly notes from my voice. Emotional pain, love, loss, insecurity and self-hatred. I don’t want to see any of this but I can’t help myself. I swear my slight masochistic tendencies don’t include making myself suffer like this but some days it was hard to tell.

A voice speaking my name turns into smooth chocolate brown behind my closed eyes. Mikasa. She’s grounded in a way I am not and her colors soothe my frayed nerves in a way not many can. Brown and silver; gold and light blue. They bleed together to form her base. Grounded, nurturing, protective and wise. She is my rock.

I have to apologize because I know she hurts when I hurt and that’s even harder to see than my own pain. I don’t think I could deal with another one of her lectures. She looked up how to make discordant tones with her voice. I had a headache for days after that.

Then there’s Armin, orange-yellow and pale yellow; Cobalt and violet. Intelligent, shy, intuitive and sensitive. He’s a peaceful sunset, my best friend and my brother. I love to see him talk when he gets excited. It’s like a storm at sunset. Strong winds whipping all those colors into a frenzy.

It took Armin pointing out the three extra people for me to notice them. They were so quiet it was like a blank space where they were standing. I have a tendency to focus on the colors people produce instead of the people that produce them. Mikasa ordering them to be quiet made sense and after Hanji spoke it made even more sense. Perfectly horrible discordant tones. If Mikasa ever wanted to torture me again all she would have to do is lock me and Hanji in a room and order her to talk none stop.

Though I am flattered by what she said even if how she said it makes my eyes hurt. My eyes always get one of two reactions either people love them or are uncomfortable looking me in the eye. Neither of the other two seemed to have any problems looking at me so I suppose they’re fine. It’s hard to tell though, I’ve never been any good at reading body language or facial features and neither have spoken a word yet.

…

Hanji is bright, cheerful and friendly. Her colors reflect her personality when she speaks normally, and I much prefer her that way. If I were anyone else I would say that the two guys with her are nice and friendly, but I know from personal experience that smiles and friendliness can hide what someone voice can’t.

Erwin _looks_ friendly enough. His smile seems open and inviting. Levi looks pissed and I don’t think his expression has changed the whole time he’s been here. They don’t know anything about me; and Mikasa, Armin and I like to make a game out of this. When they find out about me either they’ll stick around or they’ll think I’m a freak and take off. Might as well have some fun while I can.

When Levi finally speaks I just about break my neck turning to look at him. He has to repeat what he said. Has to keep talking and when he repeats his question I want to drown my senses in him. On the outside he is black, steel blue and pale peach. On the inside he is so much more. Scarlet, vermillion, forest green and sienna. His base colors are varied and numerous. I’ve never met anyone with so many base colors or with such good control over their voice. It’s a shame he doesn’t sing maybe someday I can get him to for me.

He thinks he has perfect control and to anyone else he does. But not to me. This is what’s fun, when people think I’m psychic or some shit like that. I can’t read minds or anything like that but tone and inflection, even very tiny changes, show me what people are feeling at the moment or what they may be trying to say even if they don’t have to words to say it.      

…            

I was glad when everyone agreed to go for food. I was starving because my dumbass decided not to have breakfast this morning and here it was almost lunch time. When Levi snorted at whatever was said between Hanji and me, I wondered what a smile would look like on his face. What would his laugh look like if his voice was this beautiful? Then he had to go and ruin all those pretty colors. Salmon and apple-green; dishonesty and lie. I just could help myself. I had to tease him a little to get my point across.

The skin of his cheek was soft and smooth, the fringe of his hair tickled my temple and he smelled like tea, spice and fresh air. All together it was an intoxicating combination and put some very bad thoughts in my head. I didn’t linger long, I wouldn’t have been able to control myself if I had but I did notice how tense he became when I started speaking in his ear. He didn’t bother to move away and that just helped to reinforce those naughty thoughts.

I was curious if he knew how seductive he really was without even trying. The growling and cursing under his breath did nothing to stop the beautiful blood red of his anger from blooming around him. I laughed but only because I knew his anger would disappear quickly. However I had to shut my mouth with a click of my teeth when he walk away because if I hadn’t I would have started drooling.

Up until the moment he walked away I had only paid attention to his face, which was attractive enough, put that with the body and Holy Mother of Jesus Levi looked like a god. Black combat boots, white skinny jeans that hugged every dip and curve perfectly and a snug fit tan band tee that showed off how muscular he really was. What really caught my attention, besides his eyes, was his legs and ass. You know how guys will often talk about some chick that has legs that go on for miles? Well that was Levi. For someone of his height he had some long fucking legs, all slender and toned, they led up to one of the best looking asses I have ever seen. The way he walked with perfect posture and grace gave his hips a little sway and shit I could watch him walk away for the rest of my life.

My admiration of Levi’s ass was interrupted by Mikasa and Armin who both grabbed one of my arms and decided to drag me along following behind Hanji, Erwin and Levi. Hanji was cackling away again and poking at Levi. I’m guessing picking on him since her amusement was clearly visible. Levi must have been whispering because I couldn’t get a read on him at all.

“So what do you think of them?” Armin asked.

“They’re all great. I’m glad you guys have them as friends.” I smiled happily at him. When he pasted a sly grin on his face though, I wanted to groan. I could see it coming from a mile away.

“Especially Levi, huh?”

“Have you seen him?” I asked incredulously.

“Yeah, he’s not my type. What did you think of him?”

“Fuuuck.” I did groan this time. “I’ve never heard or seen anyone one like him. I have no words. He’s...fucking perfect.” I breathed out the last word because that’s what he was. To me he was perfect.

I could see the surprise on their faces when I finished talking. “Just be sure beforehand. I don’t want to see you like last time.” Mikasa told me softly.

“Okay, for one I have no idea if I even have a chance like that with him and two I can tell you right now he’s nothing like _Him._ I never wanna be like that again and I will never let it happen. I don’t think I’d like it but even if all I could be is a friend, I could live with that.” They nodded at me happy with my answer and we walk the rest of the way in comfortable silence.

…

At the Cafe we sat three to one booth and three across from us. Levi sat in front of me and I wondered why. The impression I started getting from him was he was weary of me. I wasn’t going to complain though.

When we had all eaten and were sitting comfortably with our drinks Hanji decided to start her questions. I was thankful she waited for me to finish eating. “So?” She prompted.

“I’m not sure what exactly you want to know?”

“Everything.” She said gleefully and thank god she toned her voice down a bit, just not her enthusiasm.

“Ah, okay. Well, I’ve been able to see sounds as colors since I was born but I wasn’t diagnosed with Chromesthesia until I was 5 or 6 years old. Basically my brain is just wired differently than everybody else's. I didn’t understand at the time that not everyone could see what I see and once I was able to understand that I looked up everything known about Chromesthesia. It took a few years but I eventually figured out tone, pitch and inflection and the colors that are associated with all of them.”

“There is no text book or firsthand knowledge for something like this, each person who has Chromesthesia has different experiences from any other, though so I still make mistakes from time to time.” I paused for a moment to take a sip of my drink and the three across from me were listening in rapt fascination.

“What do you mean they have different experiences?” Hanji asked.

“I’m not sure that’s the right phrase but if I play a C sharp it’s color is a bright sunny yellow but if you play the same note for a different person with the same affliction they may see sky blue. Does that clear it up?”

“Yup. So how can you describe us so well even though you don’t know us at all?” Haji asked curiously.

“Okay this is going to take a while to explain, just so you know. If you wanna hear it I suggest you get comfortable.”

“We have nothing better to do brat, so just get on with it.” Levi was the one to answer and I couldn’t help but to laugh happily. That beautiful burst of bright colors with a few new ones mixed in. Curiosity and intrigue. He sighed, exasperation.

“Okay I’m sorry. So a person’s voice is as unique as their fingerprint, that’s a scientific fact. Even if there are some similarities with another no two voices are alike, even people who think they can mimic another’s voice it’s only on the surface. Because a voice is unique its base colors represent their personalities but because people are complex creatures so are the colors I see. I’m going to warn you right now that what I see I have no control over. I cannot turn it off and I am sorry for that but I will never speak out loud anything I see without express permission. Everyone has secrets for one reason or another so anyone of you wanna be my example?” I looked at all three of them but I was betting on Hanji or Erwin. I already knew Levi would have no part of this he was too much of a private person.

“Oh I will. I’m an open book so do your worse.” Hanji said.

“Okay. What I said about you back in the practice room was just basics. Energetic, compassionate, open, confidant, outgoing, courageous, intelligent, scientific, optimistic, determined, friendly, generous, protective and loyal. Those are your base. Would you like to hear what I see?” I asked a little hesitantly.

She nodded excitedly. “Yeah. How?”

“One sec and I’ll show you.” I was glad I had remembered to grab my backpack this morning. It was under the table between my feet. I unzipped it quickly and pulled out my tablet and set it on the table in front of us. I brought it out of sleep mode and opened the piano app. It had nothing on a real piano but it would do for a situation like this. “So I already said each note has a corresponding color and each color translates into a feeling or a part of someone's personality. With that said the reverse is also true. Do you mind if I record this? I’d like to compose a piece if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Only if I get a copy of the finished piece.”

“Of course.”

“Then hells yes, do it.”

I couldn’t help it he enthusiasm was contagious and I was smiling like an idiot. “I just need you to talk until I signal you to stop and everyone else be quiet. Now go Hanji.” I hit record and closed my eyes.

“I can’t believe you’re going to compose a piece of music right in front of us. I bet not many people can say that. I’m kind of mad at Mikasa and Armin for keeping this a secret all this time.” There was a new one, affection and I was happy to hear it was for Mikasa and Armin. I held up my hand for her to stop. I could picture each color as a note, I could almost hear the melody I just needed to rearrange to note slightly and I had it in moments. I opened my eyes and played. It was only a short piece but it was easy to add more as I went along. Hanji had such a wonderful personality and it played beautifully.

I stopped playing and the recording. “I may have just met you but you are a wonderful person and you sound beautiful.” She opened her mouth to say something and shut it again right after and giggled. Such a girlish sound and I had a new note to add now. Her teary eyes and wide grin were praise enough for me.

“When you become famous please don’t forget us peons.” She said when she finally regained her voice.

“Well that’s two miracles in one day. A dumbfounded Levi and a speechless Hanji. I must say you certainly are talented and that was amazing.” Erwin said. It’s the most I’d heard him say the whole time. “Not bad brat.” Levi said and I wondered if there would ever be a point where his voice would stop being so amazing.

“I’m curious what you could do with short stack and the giant now.”

“Well, Erwin would would be easy enough. A simple melody like a lullaby. Calm and soothing.” I looked at Levi that was harder to answer. His would be complex and long. It would take a long time and I doubt he would want to just sit around and talk to me long enough for me to gather each and every aspect of his personality.

He looked back at me and quirked an eyebrow. “What. Couldn’t do it?” There was a challenge hidden in that question.

“I’m trying to figure out how to answer that question without revealing anything and pissing you off. I’m not even going to bother to ask your permission because I know you’ll say no but I guess I can say what I think and not what I see. Just don’t punch me. First of all I’ve never met anyone like you. To compose a piece for you would take a while and I would need you to sit with me and talk, a lot. It would be long and very complex. I am a musical prodigy. I have perfect pitch, I can play 5 instruments and I’ve composed 3 original pieces not including the one I just played and you would be a challenge.”

“I love a challenge and would be happy as a pig in shit to try it but you wouldn’t be willing to do what I would need you to.”

“You don’t know me or what I would do.” He shot back at me and fuck me if there wasn’t something new this time as well.

“You’re right I don’t know your thoughts or likes and dislikes but I’ve got a pretty good hold on your personality. This is not something you would normally do and at this point in time I’m wondering if it wouldn’t take a lifetime to compose a piece for you. Every damn time you open your mouth something changes.” He opened his mouth to speak and I interrupted him. “If you ask what I will answer and if I say something you don’t like or want anyone to know it will be your own fault. If you really want to know we can meet up sometime and I’ll tell you everything.”

“Fine.” He snarled at me and that was familiar. Anger.

“Listen Levi, I’m not saying any of this to piss you off or start a fight. You asked and I’m answering honestly and I’m not going to ask you to do anything you’re not willing or comfortable doing.” I held my hand out to him. “Let me see your phone.” He handed it over eyeing me skeptically the whole time. I entered my number and handed it back to him. “If you’re curious or really just want to know, call me and we’ll meet. Don’t text if you can help it please. Now I need to get back to the apartment. I moved a bunch of shit this morning and I need a shower. It was nice to meet you guys.”

Mikasa, Armin and I all stood and got ready to leave but not before accepting a hug from Hanji, a handshake from Erwin and a nod from Levi.


	3. Vermilion-Passion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this ended up being much shorter than I would have liked but I hope you all enjoy anyways.

**Vermilion** **-Passion**

**Levi**

 

Both of my so called best friends can go to hell right now. The entire way to the cafe I had to listen to fucking four eyes teasing me about the kid and fucking shitty brows thought it would be cute to laugh and agree with her. Too damn observant for my own peace of mind. They could go fuck themselves or each other; I don’t really care as long as they leave me the hell alone. Unfortunately I was stuck with them a little longer if I wanted to know more about the damn brat. I was still having a hard time even admitting that much to myself.

I had managed to block out most of what she was saying and almost missed what she said next. “You know it’s pretty obvious to us that you like him or are at the very least interested in him and not only that but he likes you too.” She informed me with that creepy ass grin.

“How in the hell would you know that?” I admit I was a little hostile and I had no idea why.

“Because you didn’t see how he was looking at you when you left the room.”

“Oh? And how exactly was he looking at me?”

“Like you were the last dessert left on Earth.” She follows that little statement with a loud laugh.

Not that I would ever admit it out loud but that was pleasing to know, at least I know he’s attracted to me but I just shook my head at her. “Doesn’t matter. What if he just wants a fling or one night stand? I’m done with casual dating and one night stands. Been there done that, I know I’m still young but I want something lasting. This is his first year of college and I don’t want to be an experiment, since we don’t even know if he’s in the closet or not, or anything like that.” It’s probably the most honest I’ve been with either of them and the surprise showed but there was little point in me being dishonest about this particular subject.

“It’s been awhile since you’ve been with anyone or even tried another relationship. Are you really not even going to try to get to know him and see if he might be interested in the same thing Levi?”

Leave it to Erwin to be the voice of reason. “There’s a reason I haven’t tried dating again. No one wants to put up with someone like me.” And that was fucking depressing. My last relationship fell apart because he said I wasn’t loving enough, I was emotionless, I was OCD... I wasn’t emotionless it was just the way I was raised, it’s not like I had anyone to teach me _how_ to show emotion. Hanji and Erwin understood that and that’s why they are my closest friends. Armin and Mikasa accept me as I am without question and so they became friends. I wanted to love someone and be loved in return; I just didn’t want to get my heart broken and I wasn’t OCD I just like things to be clean.   

“So because you’re scared you’re not going to even try?”

I didn’t even have a reply to that. Erwin was able to read me too well sometimes. I was scared, I’ve never been as fascinated by another person as I was by Eren, and I didn’t want to take the chance and find out I was wrong about another person I liked. With my luck in the relationship department, I’d end up falling head over heels for Eren and eventually he’d end up hating me. So I kept my mouth shut and let my silence speak for itself.

“Don’t give up Levi. You should get to know him if you like him that much. Be friends with him first. Just talk, so far he doesn’t seem to mind your apparent grumpiness.” Hanji said in a surprisingly serious moment.

“I’m not guaranteeing anything but I’ll try.” I really didn’t want to but if I didn’t make some sort of concession she’d never leave me alone about it.

“Yay!” Hanji clapped her hands together. “We just want to see you happy Levi.”

“Yeah, yeah. We’re here so shut up about it.”

…

I was glad we decided to come here; it’s one of the few places in the area that serves a decent cup of tea. I wondered how Eren stay so thin, it certainly seemed like he could put away a lot food and thankfully he was a fairly neat eater.

I’m not really sure what kept me there after he said the explanation would take a while but his words kept me sitting right where I was. From the sound of it, his condition was pretty damn cool and being an artist I was a little envious that I couldn’t see was he saw. The downside in my opinion was he could read people and it was a little concerning.

I don’t want this beautiful man to be able to read me. I don’t want to think he’s beautiful, I don’t want to be fascinated by him and I don’t want to want him so fucking badly. It might not make any sense but I’m happy in my misery. It’s something I know very well and I know how to cope with it. There were too many unknowns that come along with taking a chance on Eren. I’ve been disappointed too many times when someone gets to know me and they don’t like what they see.

…

As an artist I can almost picture what he sees and  If I didn’t like the quiet so much I’d be envious but the fact still remained that Sound is what translates to color and that would drive me insane. I like watching him talk about something he’s so passionate about though. His voice isn’t grating and his eyes light up like a Christmas tree; he doesn’t babble either.

There had to be something wrong with him. There is no way he’s as perfect as I see him. Beautiful, talented, he spoke as if he’s fairly intelligent, he got Hanji to be semi quiet, he makes me want to smile and he just composed a beautiful melody just from listening to fucking four eyes talk. Everyone has flaws but I couldn’t see any in him and there was the problem. I had so many flaws I didn’t even want to count them and he was perfect. We’d never work.

When Hanji asked about composing me and Erwin, he answered quickly about Erwin, but hesitated to answer about me. So what does my dumbass do? I pick a damn fight with the kid and issue a challenge. I want to know why it would be so hard, what does he see when I talk to him? I’m afraid of the answer; I will get them from him but not here and not now. The kid didn’t even lose his temper just replied evenly and tried to placate me without revealing anything I don’t want him too.

Jesus fucking Christ. Attract and repel. He Attracts and I can’t even fight with him enough to repel him. He just won’t fucking let me. I let him put his number in my phone but don’t offer mine in return; he doesn’t look like he expects me to. I am intensely relieved when they leave and make no promises to call him.

Me, Hanji and Erwin leave a few minutes after; each of us saying goodbye before heading for our respective living places.

I spent the rest of the afternoon stewing in my own thoughts while sketching. I was being so damn childish and I really didn’t give a shit. When I realized I had been drawing Eren the whole time, I flipped my sketch book closed and slammed it down on the coffee table. Maybe cleaning would be a better distraction.

So, I spent hours cleaning, focusing on the dust and dirt that needed to be eliminated and berating myself because it wasn’t _fucking_ helping. It was just making me feel worse because my need for cleanliness is one of the many things that drive potential relationships away. Finally after my thoughts circling, too many times to count in the same direction, I gave up for the night. I ordered Chinese, got comfortable and put on Netflix. I eventually passed out on the couch watching some mindless show.         

 


	4. Mustard-Munipulative

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any of the songs mentioned or the characters.

**Mustard-Manipulative**

**Eren**

 

Mondays and Fridays were going to be the worst days this semester. From 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. I had Composition and not Music Comp. No, English Comp. one of the few core classes I had to take to complete my degree. On top of having to listen to the professor drone on and on for two hours, he was just as bored as we were which was conveyed in a murky muddy brown and _he_ was there as well; His boyfriend sitting right next to him.

That relationship was a mistake and was what ultimately caused me to be much more cautious about trusting people. I wasn’t in love with him anymore but he had been my first everything and that just doesn’t go away.

Making plans to attend the same university was probably a bad idea but luckily he had a different major so at most I’d only share a few core classes. So this semester I’d get to see him two days a week, looking happy with his boyfriend and I am wallowing in self-pity because now I’m having a hard time trusting anyone enough to date them and it’s his fault. So six years of friendship, two and a half of those as boyfriends and lovers, down the drain because he was too much of a coward to tell me he was interested in someone else.

It’s not like I wouldn’t have understood. Yes, I would have been sad and upset at first but rarely do high school sweethearts ever stay together past high school. I would have wanted to stay friends with both of them, but I guess that’s life. You love and you learn.

…

The rest of my classes were great and I was excited for the big project. It’s collaboration between the Music Comp. teacher, the Music Performance teachers (vocal and piano) and the Performance Arts department. It sounded like a huge undertaking but fun anyways. We had to compose an original piece due by the end of the semester. The top ten students with the highest grade would perform those pieces at a concert set for the end of the year.

So it’s Friday afternoon and me and a couple people from my Music Comp. class decided to come to the same cafe from last weekend. Connie Springer, Sasha Blouse, Krista Lenz and Ymir, no clue what her last name is because she never offered it and I’ve never heard anyone say it. While we all had the same Music Comp. class, Krista and Sasha were in Vocal Performance and me, Connie and Ymir were in Piano Performance.

Looking at us all from the outside, we made up an odd little group; Connie was loud and exuberant, Sasha was tomboyish and could put away more food than I could, Krista was soft spoken and a sweetheart an Ymir when she decided to talk was gruff and blunt. Under their apparent personas were four people who were friendly and loving and over all good people. I was grateful to have met them.

Our classes were informed of the assignment today so here we all were discussing it. Well they were discussing the assignment, I was half listening while daydream about a certain hot little bastard. I’d been doing that off and on all week, He never called and I didn’t really expect him to but I was still a little upset about that.

“Ereeeen!” I was jolted out of my personal musings. Think of the devil and his minions will appear. Hanji appeared by my side out of thin air and tugged me up out of my seat and pulled me into a hug. It was disarming but not unwanted, it was nice to have someone so excited to see me for no reason at all. I hugged her back laughing lightly.

“Fucking Four Eyes. Did you forget?” I hadn’t even seen Levi but Hanji covered her mouth and apologized. I don’t know how but I had convinced myself over the week that Levi wasn’t as great as I had made him out to be; he wasn’t as sexy as I thought, his eyes couldn’t possibly be that piercing gunmetal gray and his voice just couldn’t be that fucking perfect. Not hearing or seeing him for a week, it was easy to convince myself of all this.

But...fuck if I wasn’t wrong. I had never given it any thought about specific body parts I might find attractive, but every time I saw Levi in those damn skinny jeans he seems to favor and a pair of knee high combat boots, I think besides his heavy lidded gray eyes, his legs are his best feature. I wanted to grab him by his waist and lift him up so he could wrap those incredibly long slender legs around my hips, I wanted to feel him squeeze me between those toned thighs and show me just how strong he was. Arousal started to stir and heat my blood and I had to push those thoughts away and avert my eyes to Hanji.   

“It’s fine. How are you guys Hanji, Levi?” I asked the both of them. Hanji was grinning like a loon and I had a feeling she knew exactly what I was thinking. Levi just looked bored standing there beside her.

“We’re doing great but we don’t really have a lot of time to chat. Armin is getting us something to drink before we head to class. So any chatting will have to wait until tomorrow.” Armin strode up beside me and I looked at him confused.

“What’s going on tomorrow?” I asked as he handed out cups to both Levi and Hanji.

“Mikasa and I invited the three of them over for supper tomorrow night. You haven’t checked your phone have you?” I grabbed my bag from under the table and set it down to dig through it. Finding my phone I had to turn it back on and watch the notifications pop up. One missed call from Armin and eight from Mikasa. I winced; “Mikasa is going to kill me.” I muttered as I got ready to send her a quick message.

“Well I guess I’ll see you guys tomorrow. I’ll see you tonight Armin, I have to tell you about the big music project.” I could help but be excited but by the groans from my table I was the only one. I caught Levi’s gaze as he turned to walk away and I smiled giving him a little wave, he nodded his goodbye and left with the others.

“Who were they?” Krista asked sweetly; curiosity and interest. I only half pay attention to the undertones of her question. I usually don’t pay much attention to positive undertones unless I’m trying to get a read on someone; negative ones always catch my attention because they're so bright and gaudy.           

“The little blonde is my adoptive brother Armin Alert, the loud crazy women is Hanji and the short grumpy one was Levi.” Krista and Ymir nodded, Sasha was too busy eating to care and Connie seemed to be lost in thought until his eyes focused on me.

“Do you think we’d be allowed to collaborate?” I don’t know why he would think I would know that but I answered anyway.

“How do you mean, like a duet?”

“No, I mean one person writing the music and say someone writing lyrics. It would still be two separate projects just able to perform together.” He clarified.

That was actually a good idea and I couldn’t see why the teachers would have a problem with it but there was always a chance. “I don’t see why not, you should ask, the worst they could do is say no. Their offices are still open if you hurry you can ask before they leave and if they say yes you could always start the work over the weekend.”

Connie brightened and grinned. “Sasha, you should come with me, if they say yes I want to do this with you.” She nodded excitedly and jumped up.

“Wait, take my number and let me know what they say. It’s a good idea and I can work with Ymir if they say it’s okay.” Krista told Connie before they left. In the end we all exchanged numbers. Connie and Sasha left to go talk to the teachers heading the project and Krista and Ymir left for their last afternoon class. I had nothing left for the afternoon and everyone I knew was busy so I made my way home.

…

Home was a house just big enough for me, Armin and Mikasa, a gift of sorts from our father. Mikasa and Armin were living in an apartment until three months ago and you could tell, we had a very minimalistic look going on. They’d been slowly moving all our stuff in every time they returned from a home visit. All of our bedrooms were done and fully furnished, so was the bathroom and kitchen. The living room was a bit bare, however; overstuffed couch and chair, both second hand, a t.v. stand and decent size flatscreen t.v., and our game consoles. We had tons of pictures but hadn’t found the time to hand them.

I looked at the clock, it was about 4pm and that meant Mikasa would be home in a few, Armin wouldn’t be in for another hour or so. I put on a pot of coffee and check the fridge and cabinets for what we could make for supper. Usually Armin or Mikasa would cook, I wasn’t the greatest but I could keep myself alive if I was on my own. We needed to get to the grocery store; looks like we’re ordering out tonight.   

A good cup of coffee and Netflix and I’m good until Mikasa gets home a short time later. She heads right to the kitchen where she deposits her bag on the table and quickly makes herself a cup of coffee, we’re all caffeine addicts here; she flops down next to me, boneless, and takes a sip of her drink with a sigh of relief following.

“Sorry I didn’t answer my phone. I turned it off before class and forgot about it until I ran into Armin and he reminded me.” I told her sheepishly.

“Its fine just try to remember to turn it back on, you know I worry. So how was your day?”

That was the perfect question to ask and so I enthusiastically launch into a rant about how unfair it is for him to be in my class and I hate core classes but I love my music classes and I made a few friends. That in turn lead to the new project which I couldn’t help but be super excited over, she listened to everything intently with a small smile on her face and she looked so happy.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I had to ask, it was rare for her to smile so openly even if she was happy.

“You’re happy here right?” I thought about it and I was, happy, the happiest I’d be in such a long time; I was going to school to do something I loved, I had Mikasa and Armin with me, I was making friends who were turning out to be awesome and I had a huge crush on the hottest guy I’d ever seen. Life was good at the moment. I grinned brightly at her and nodded. “I’m glad.” We went back to drinking our coffee quietly and waited for Armin to get home.

…

I really, really didn’t want to get out of bed the next morning but it was already 10 and we had friends coming over today and not just that but Saturday’s ended up being cleaning and laundry day. Since I wasn’t really much of a cook, I was in charge of getting the laundry done and put away. Mikasa and Armin would help clean then they would cook. So I have to climb my lazy ass out of bed and get downstairs.

Armin was already awake and had made coffee, there was a dirty bowl and cup in the sink which meant Mikasa had already been up and was probably at the store picking up what we would need for tonight.

I made a cup and grabbed a bowl and spoon on my way out of the kitchen, Armin had already set the cereal and milk out on the table. I had to snort at him as I sat at the table. He had a text book open in front of him and was eating a bowl of cereal without taking his eyes from the page. I snickered every time he put a spoonful of nothing in his mouth. He must have gotten tired of hearing me because eventually he looked up long enough to glare at me through his bangs.

I cleared my throat and held back a laugh. “So when’s everyone supposed to be here?” I pushed my now empty bowl aside in favor of my coffee.

“We told them to come over anytime but I doubt they’ll be here earlier than lunch.” I acknowledged the statement and finished the last of my drink. Time to get started. I was excited to see Levi again, to talk to him again and hear his voice. Hanji and Erwin were pretty cool too but I couldn’t help but want to spend more time with Levi. There was just something compelling about him that called to me and I didn’t want to resist.

…

It took a couple hours to get all our laundry for the week done and put away. Once that was done I streamed some music through the stereo and set about cleaning the living room; sweeping and mopping, I had to push the coffee table to one of the far walls leaving the living room wide open. Sweeping took no time at all and mopping went by fairly quickly, it wasn’t like were all that messy in the first place.

I grinned widely when the next song on my playlist came on and called loudly for Armin. I loved Pomp and Circumstance, the beat was catchy and the lyrics were dirty as hell. Me and Armin danced every time it came on.

_Bite down from time to time, let me remember what pain feels like_

_Stain my entirety with that overflowing fluid_

_Drowning in the sensations made to run up from_

_The tips of my toes, lead my body and heart_

_Having bitten down on a finger trying to bear it ,is what is desired an ideal?_

We were grinning like fools and dancing like our lives depended on it; I was singing just a little bit louder than the music, harmonizing perfectly.

_I don't need it, don't need it at all, a shined-up obtrusive PRIDE_

_As for the rules of this meaningless world, it's pointless to describe them_

_Your STYLE is hidden away, but you should DIVE in with it all laid bare_

_What's born is hope, it's not a mistake, the SMILE at the peak_

 

_Matching the pace of our breathing, feeling your breath upon my ear_

_A chest on the verge of exploding, cells going berserk_

_First you should kindly rip off this shirt_ _I'm taking off, no worries_

When the part about ‘rip off this shirt’ came on I tore off my shirt and threw it on the couch. “Woo, Eren take it off.” I turned quickly to see Erwin, Hanji and Levi standing in the doorway watching me and Armin. When he heard Hanji and saw the three, he blushed bright red and took off to the kitchen. I shook my head and kept singing. I was a performer there was no need to be embarrassed in front of an audience.

I danced over to Hanji and pulled her to me by the waist and danced her around the room. She threw her head back and laughed in delight. She wasn’t half bad at dancing and I was surprised when she started singing along. It was a lot of fun and when the song finished I back off to give her a dramatic bow.

“Thank you for the dance my lady.” She giggled and tried a curtsy. “My pleasure.” It really was if the rainbow of colors surrounding her proved anything.

“Hey Erwin and Levi. You can come on in just please take your shoes and put them by the door I just mopped. “I’m guessing I didn’t hear you knocking?” I asked while they slipped off their shoes.

“No,” Erwin answered. “That was quite the show Eren.”

“Glad you enjoyed it; I’ll be taking requests all night.” I grabbed my shirt off the couch and wiped the sweat off my face with it before hanging it around my neck.

“Really?”

“I shrugged at Hanji’s excited tone. Sure why not, I’ll bring down my guitar after I shower.”

“Yay, thank you.” She said with a clap of her hands.

“It’s no problem. Mikasa and Armin will be doing the cooking so I’ll have nothing to do, it might even help me come up with an idea for my music project.”

“What’s the project?” She asked curiously.

“I’ll tell you about it when I come down. Make yourselves at home, you can sit in here or in there,” I jerked my head in the direction of the dining room. “You’ll be able to see and talk to Mikasa and Armin from the table.” I left them to it and took off upstairs.

I set a fresh change of clothes and my guitar on my bed and left for the shower. I made it quick so I could get back downstairs. I changed into boxers, a pair of worn jeans and a tee shirt that said ‘ I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a shit in days.’ I put my towel around my shoulders and ran back downstairs, guitar in hand.

…

Everyone was in the living room meaning Mikasa and Armin was pretty much done. They were cuddled together in the chair while the other three were spread out on the couch, so I went to the dining room and grabbed a chair to sit on. I placed it across from the couch with my guitar on my lap.

Erwin started laughing and I frowned at him, no one had said anything since I had entered the room. He pointed at me and I looked down at my shirt and back at him, everyone else took a look at my shirt then looked at Levi and started cracking up laughing; even Levi looked amused.

“What am I missing?”

“Nothing you shitty Brat.” I snickered. Well that explains a lot. I waited for everyone to calm down.

“So Hanji what did you want to hear?”

“I can’t think of a song right now but I just wanted you to sing some more so just choose for me.” For her huh. I smirked; I knew the perfect song to sing.

“Whatever you say Hanji, this song is just for you.” I started playing Insanity by Britney Spears. Not my favorite artist but I’m a musician and I love the lyrics. It was a fun song to do for them and had everyone laughing and saying how perfect it was for Hanji.

Hanji clapped her hands, “Do Erwin.” She said excitedly. I had to run through a bunch of songs in my head and what little I knew of Erwin and then I had it. Dangerous by Big Data. That got a few raised eyebrows.

“Why that song?” Erwin asked curiosity apparent.

“Tell me I’m, lying if I say ‘if someone fucked with someone you love, that they won’t get fucked up in return’?”

“Good point. Now Levi, I’m curious what you would pick for him.” I grinned outright, I had so many songs I could apply to Levi but one stuck out in my mind.

_We live in a cold dark world with venom in it's fangs._

_You can spit it in my face but I know I'll be OK_

_It's on the attack._

_It's a war, it's a game._

_A ball and chain chew_ _my arm off to get away_

_Don't fight, or it deny_ _it, invite it 'cause when it_

It was a good song for him he was one of the people who fought everything, including himself and if he got knocked down he got back up just fighting back stronger than before.

_Feels like a kick in the teeth, I can take it._

_Throw your stones and you won't see me break it._

_Say what you want, take your shots._

_You're setting me free with one more kick in the teeth_

_(Na na na na na)_

_Kick in the teeth (na na na na na na)_

I grinned back when he started chuckling. It was the first time I saw a real smile and he should really do that more. I was so proud of myself for getting even a small smile from him. I was interrupted by a ding coming from the kitchen.

“Alright people supper’s ready.” Armin said jumping up and dashing off to the other room. Mikasa followed behind him and I stood to prop my guitar against the wall. I turned around as Levi walked past, an odd look on his face.

“Something wrong Levi?” He turned his head and smirked at me shaking his head no in the process. I followed behind him and that was certainly interesting; I wonder what he didn’t want me to see?

…

Supper was great, salad with Mikasa’s homemade lasagna and friends. I got to tell them about my project and discuss different things I could do for it. I know what I wanted to do but it looks like that will never happen. The rest of the conversation was lively and entertaining.

After supper we cleaned up and went back to the living room. Since it was so early and none of us had to be up early the next morning we decided to watch The Walking Dead from season 1; then Hanji got the idea to make a drinking game out of it, we may not be the partying type but that didn’t mean we didn’t keep alcohol in the house. For every death we drank a shot. It had been a while since I had watched the show and I forgot how much people died. We were all very fucked up and that meant Hanji, Erwin and Levi stayed the night. Hanji shared a room with Mikasa, Erwin with Armin and I let Levi take my room while I took the couch. I had to assure him that I washed and changed all my linens that morning before he would accept.

I was drunk, lying on the couch alone in the dark and fucking Levi was sleeping in my bed, alone. I covered my eyes with my arm and groaned. If I had any confidence I’d go up there right now and climb in with him, unfortunately I’m a coward. A drunk, horny coward. Morning was going to suck, that was my last thought as I passed out.   


	5. Buttercup-Determined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long, I got stuck on this chapter. It seems a little stilted to me because of it and I tried to smooth it out the best I could, I hope that doesn't keep you from reading it though.

**Buttercup-Determined**

**Levi**

More often than not I wanted and liked being alone, but today I was anxious to get to the Jeager house and not only to see Eren. Hanji was about to drive me up a wall and Erwin was doing nothing to help. In fact he was encouraging the whole thing. I had been doing my utmost to ignore her chatter and Erwin's laughter, that I didn't even notice the car stopping. "Alright short, sullen and sexy we're here so get your ass out so you can go see your beloved." She cracked a grin at my glare and hopped out of the car, Erwin following quickly behind. I climbed out slowly, as much as I wanted to be here I also didn't. I didn't want to feel the rollercoaster of emotions Eren provoked in me but I did want to see him.

I stood back as Erwin rapped on the door but from the racket coming from inside, I highly doubted it would be heard. Hanji didn't wait long for an answer just opened it and walked in. It wasn't like we'd never been there before but we usually knocked out of respect, well Erwin and I usually did.

The music was loud but not loud enough to overpower Eren's voice, who was sing along with very provocative lyrics. Hanji and Erwin had stopped in the doorway to the living room so I had to squeeze between them to see what was going on. I looked in just in time to see Eren rolling his hips to the beat as he pulled his shirt up over a tan very toned stomach, over his chest and finally off. I didn't see where his shirt went, I was just too busy staring at miles of flawless skin, wanting to trace every defined line with my tongue and thanking every deity I could think of, for allowing me to be here at right this moment.

I was also thankful for the shirt I’d chosen to wear today; it reach the top of my thighs and considering I was wearing skinny jeans while watching a very attractive guy nearly stripping...Well the jeans wouldn’t hide the fact I was enjoying his performance a whole lot.

Then Hanji had to ruin the moment and once again open her damn mouth and I have never wanted to hit someone so bad in my life. I didn't want him to stop and to my surprise he didn't. He watched Armin scamper off with a look of fond amusement before he turned back to us. The look on his face then was sultry, completely different from just seconds before; he stalked toward us, his hips swaying with the beat and not once did he stop singing those seductive lyrics.

He pulled Hanji into the room to dance and I had to pinch my lips together to keep from drooling. Every move he made had me picturing a million different ways I wanted to see him; on top of me, under me, against a wall, it didn't matter I just fucking wanted him in any way I could get him and in that moment I threw in the towel. I have given up fighting it, I would have him if he wanted me. I knew I couldn't allow anyone else to lay a hand on him because I was having a hard time just seeing Hanji touch him and the chance that I might have to see him with a potential lover, I'd probably beat the shit out of them.

When the song finished, he playfully bantered with Hanji, who clearly enjoyed herself. If I hadn’t known that she wasn’t interested, I might have been a little upset. As it was I was only slightly jealous of the fact she got to put her hands on him.

He excused himself for a shower and it looked like he needed since he was visibly sweating but when he walked past us, he smelled so damn good I almost wanted to lick along his spine or that long neck to see if he tasted as good as he smelled. It was a gross thought and if it had been anyone else I would never had let it cross my mind. I guess Eren was the exception to a lot of things in my mind.

Hanji was squealing away as soon as he left the room. “He’s so damn cute right Levi?” Obviously. “Did you see that body?” How could I miss it? “Are you going to ask him out?”

“What is this high school? No, I’m not going to ask him out…Yet. You may have caught him looking at me but we still don’t know if he likes guys so I’ll just get to know him first.” I probably shouldn’t have said that because she immediately started jumping up and down.

“I thought I saw a bit of resignation there for a moment.” Erwin piped up. “I bet if your mouth hadn’t been closed you’d have been drooling all over the floor.” He said with a chuckle and no idea how true that statement was, or maybe he did this was Erwin after all. I merely grunted and turned to go into the dining room. Mikasa and Armin were standing in the doorway listening to our conversation.

Armin smiled brightly. “He is, you know.”

I frowned, what the hell is he talking about. “Is what?”

“Into guys.”

Well that’s a relief. “I’m still not going to ask him out yet.”

“Why not?” Mikasa asked looking a little unhappy with me.

I sighed. I really didn’t want to explain myself but this was Eren sister and while I wasn’t afraid of her she could put up a pretty damn good fight and on top of that her and Armin had become my friends. “He doesn’t know shit about me and as much as I like him, he may not like me once he gets to know me. So friends first then we’ll see.”

Mikasa nodded apparently pleased by my answer. “I think you already know he see more than you think but take things at yours and his pace. Just know that if you do start dating my brother and purposefully hurt him in anyway, I will hurt you. He’s been through enough.”

I was a bit curious about that but I’m not one to pry. I had my own baggage and if Eren asked I’d tell him. I’d rather hear about stuff like that from him than Mikasa or Armin. I nodded at her, I had expected the threat. I followed her back to the kitchen while the other three went back to the living room.   

…

I remembered back to the week before when I first saw and heard Eren. That first time I thought he was incomparable; he sung beautifully and looked good doing it. Now was different from then. Now he glowed with happiness; he was ethereal in his joy and his love of music was palpable.

Erens song choice for Hanji was amusing, for Erwin was apt but he probably could have come up with something better and for me, it made me even more curious what he saw every time I spoke to him and I was more determined than ever to find out exactly what that was.

Dinner was livelier with Eren around and as always Mikasa was a great cook. Everyone had fun volleying ideas around for Eren’s project once he finished explaining what it was and what he had to do. I noticed that while we were out in public he had pretty good manners but in the privacy of his own home he ate like an animal, talked with his hands flailing wildly about and quite loudly at that. It was nice to see the once hidden thoughts and while they still annoyed me as was per usual; at the same time it was endearing and all things I could deal with.

I opted out of the drinking game but still enjoyed watching everyone one else act like idiots. Hanji and Armin got into a debate about their Psych class; Erwin, Eren and Mikasa were watching the show and occasionally making offhand comments about it while I mostly watched Eren from the corner of my eye. Slowly he became more and more relaxed and his eyes glazed over; his boneless sprawl and his distracted glazed look made it all too easy to picture what he’d look like after a night of pleasure, the only thing missing was even messier hair and less clothing.

I wasn’t drunk when Eren led me to his room but it was a close thing. I changed and lay in his bed; it may have had clean sheet but his room was saturated in his scent and it was just as intoxicating as the alcohol I’d drank. I don’t know for how long I lay there awake surrounded by his smell and reminded of how he looked that afternoon; I was achingly hard but refused to do something as crude as get myself off in Eren’s bed.

I did lay there long enough for the start of a slight hangover to kick in and the headache was now making it impossible to fall asleep so I threw myself out of the bed and went to bathroom to grab some pain killers and made my way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. On my way back I stopped in front of the couch.

That was not a good idea; Eren was not a pretty sleeper, not really. He was only in a pair of loose basketball shorts and no shirt, his hand thrown above his head, snoring lightly with one leg hanging off the couch and the other draped of the arm. He was drooling and it was disgusting but the overall picture was fucking hot. I wanted to run my fingers of his sculpted abs and follow that light dusting of hair down into his shorts. I clenched my hands into fists at my side and fought the urge to wake him up by licking my way into his mouth. Instead I brushed the hair covering his eyes, out of his face and marveled at the silky feel. Yeah, I was turning into a sap even if it was all in my head and I didn’t really give a shit.

I left Eren sleeping peacefully and went back to his room and crashed face first on the bed. I forced every thought from my head and prayed for just a little sleep.

…

I woke up the next morning just a little hungover thanks to the water and painkillers I’d taken just hours previously and I knew I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep so I climbed out of the bed to make my way downstairs to see I was the first one up and probably would be for a while.

Once Me, Erwin and Hanji started hanging out with Mikasa and Armin on a regular basis, they began keeping a regular supply of tea in the house; I had thought I was being quiet when making myself a cup but apparently not. Just before the kettle began whistling, Eren shuffled his way into the kitchen yawning and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Sorry if I woke you,” I said quietly not knowing if he was hungover or not. His lips quirked up slightly into a small smile.

“Wasn’t your fault; couch is nice to sit on not so much to sleep on.” He reassured me, his voice was low and sleep raspy. A sliver of guilt worked its way into the pleasure I’d been feeling just being in his presence. I must have let something slip because he waved a hand at me told me not to worry about it and walked past me to start making coffee.   

i sat at the table and watched him putter around the kitchen while I sipped my tea. When the coffee was set to brew he turned to me and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his bare chest. “I’d offer to make breakfast but I’m not actually that great of a cook so we’ll have to wait until Mikasa or Armin get up, which probably won’t be for a while.” He informed me and hey he wasn’t perfect after but I could live with him not being able to cook, he was good enough at everything else he did.

I hummed in acknowledgement and took another sip of my tea. He made his cup of coffee, drowning it in sugar and milk, and came to sit next to me. Eren’s sigh of utter satisfaction after his first sip did nothing to stop the bad thoughts running rampant through my mind and I need to derail that train of thoughts before it went somewhere it wasn’t welcome yet. I finished the last of my tea, got up and washed the cup; it was dried and put back before I went back to the dining room.

“Finish your coffee and get dressed we’ll just go down to the cafe and grab breakfast for everyone because I’m starving and I really don’t feel like waiting or cooking something myself.” I climbed back up the stairs to Eren’s room where my overnight bag was and grabbed everything I needed for a quick shower and to brush my teeth.

…

20 minutes later we were in Erwin’s car making our way to the cafe we had all walked to the first day I met Eren. The morning was cool but looked to be the start of a nice clear day and the drive was quick and mostly quiet with the radio playing at a low volume. It was nice and I had no desire to break the comfortable silence, I had no idea what I would have said even if I did and I guess Eren was probably still in the process of waking up since he usually seemed pretty talkative.

We must have missed the breakfast rush, for which I was freaking thankful for, because the cafe was busy but not packed. We placed our orders and stood to the side to wait for them and in the meantime I figured this would be a good time to talk since we were pretty much alone. “Talk to me kid.” Perhaps not the best opener but like hell am I going to change the way I talk for anyone.

“About what?” His voice was still a little husky with sleep and very pleasant to listen to.

“Whatever you want but I’m curious about the comment you made about me that first day we met.” I shrugged a shoulder, crossed my arms and watched his eyes light up the same way they did last night. He stood up straighter and took a breath; I have to admit I was a little apprehensive to hear what he was going to say.

“I was honest when I said I’d never met anyone like you. There are so few people who have so much control over themselves, their expressions, bodies and voices; you have all of that and on top of all of that, there is so much more to you than you show and it’s all complex emotion on top of more emotion.” He spoke fast and enthusiastically; his hands in constant movement and his smile infectious.

“People in general are complex and feel many emotions all the time but your emotions are layered and contradicting most of the time; angry and affectionate and annoyed all at one time once and I wonder if it’s exhausting to be you sometimes. I can’t help but be intrigued by you.” He finished his eyes wide and glittering with enthusiasm. I wanted to turn my eyes down, away from his entreating gaze, and blush for the first time in my life; I had no clue what to say to him after that little speech so I just gazed right back at him evenly, I would not turn away after he had just been so honest with me.

After a moment his enthusiasm turned to apprehension, I could see it happen so clearly, and he opened his mouth before closing it and hesitating. I rolled my eyes at him. “Just fucking spit it out already I promise I won’t hurt you for whatever it is you want to say.”

He straightened and looked more determined; I liked that look on him. “I wanted to ask you something and I’m not afraid of you hurting me for it just afraid of your answer.”

“Just ask, you’ll never know unless you do.” I said exasperatingly.

It was the first time I’d seen him look anything but happy, he was fidgeting nervously. “Well...You know the music composition project I told you guys about last night?” I nodded once and motioned for him to continue I knew where this was going and inwardly winced. “I wanted to ask if I could use you for my composition, well not use you...but...but…”

I held up a hand to stop him and fought not to smile at his awkward fumbling. “I know what you mean and I don’t think you’d use me like that.” I reassured him. I really wanted to say no but I couldn’t bear to see him disappointed or hurt by my refusal. “You should know I am not much of a talker.”

He grinned knowing the answer. “I got that already and that’s fine, if you want we can sit down and talk sometime, just whatever you want it doesn’t have to be anything specific and I can record it so you don’t have to keep sitting with me and talking for hours.”

I let out a breath in resignation; if I wanted to get to know him and him me, if i wanted him to be mine, then this was something I should do and I would be helping him with something that means a lot to him as well as getting closer to him. So with a little trepidation I opened my mouth to answer him but was interrupted before I could utter a sound, by a huge guy coming up behind Eren and tapping him on the shoulder.

Eren turned around to greet whoever it was; I figured it was a friend from one of his classes or something until I saw his face once he caught sight of the guy. His smile turned into more of a bearing of his teeth, his eyes turned hard and angry; I’d never seen him look like that and I don’t think I ever want to again and I knew this person wasn’t anyone Eren liked or wanted to see.           


	6. Urgent A/N

I apologize for the log awaited next chapter but unfortunately I will not have a new chapter up any time soon. I have recently found out my husband of 12 years has been having an affair and I need to take time to get my life together. While writing is my escape from real life, I just will not have the time to continue right now. I have no plans to abandon my fics and I hope that I will be back on my feet sooner rather than later. I thank you all for your understand in this trying time and once again I am sorry.


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